Close call.

The owner of the cafe made a rare appearance today, and demanded to know why customers were eating scrambled eggs in the staff toilet.

Rather than explain that they were Low Priority customers relegated to the Emergency Seating Area, I faked an asthma attack.

A crowd gathered as I rolled around on the floor gasping for breath.

Eventually I was given a ventolin inhaler from Lost Property, and I did my best to make a convincing recovery, by which time the owner had left for "an important meeting in the city."