Seating Matrix

Customers are no longer permitted to seat themselves at Caffe Cinque, but must wait to be seated by a member of staff.

Caffe Cinque's seating areas are now classified and prioritised with differing levels of interest and service to be offered accordingly;

E1, or Exile 1 refers to the tables on the footpath and should be reserved for mothers with prams, where their prams will only interrupt the flow of other prams.

HP ( High Priority Seating, tables 1- 16)- for good looking customers, personal crushes and celebrities. These people are encouraged to sit on the terrazzo and on the benches by the windows in order to raise the profile of the cafe. Examples of HP customers include Ricki Lee Coultier and Rhonda Burchmore. Cast members of Neighbours and Home and Away may be seated here provided they have had at least twelve months screen time or have been involved in a major sex scandal.
Staff are advised to contact relevant media publications upon the arrival of these customers. Please find list of relevant phone numbers on office wall.

LP ( Low Priority Seating, tables 17- 25) - for ugly people and personal grudges.

ES ( Emergency Seating) - refers to the two tables in the large staff toilet. During lunch rushes these tables may be used for LP customers, or anyone redeeming free coffee or free sandwiches with loyalty cards. Please note that Emergency Seating will not be operational until a curtain is erected in front of the urinals.

DZ (Danger Zone) - refers to the counter, the take away coffee station and the table closest to the kitchen door, where most accidents occur. Under no circumstance are blind, deaf or wheelchair access customers to be seated near the Danger Zone.
At any time, staff may relegate HP and LP customers who have displayed offensive behavior to the Danger Zone in order to teach them a lesson. A prime example would be previously designated HP customer Kim Beasley, who informed staff that he did not order a big breakfast, after he had eaten it.