Maimed

The dish pig stabbed me in the leg this morning, but claimed it was an accident.

While waiting for the ambulance to arrive, I managed to fill out an Accident Report Sheet. Under Cause Of Injury I wrote "Attempted Murder."

At the hospital, a "doctor" assured me that I have a superficial wound. I demanded to see his medical degree.

When I returned to the cafe, limping and in a great deal of pain, the dish pig reminded me that he knows where I live, so I have decided not to press charges.

However, knives are now prohibited at Caffe Cinque. As a result, we can only offer menu items which do not require cutting ( while eating or during preparation.)

This means we are only serving muffins and pre sliced toast until further notice. All condiments are to be spread with a spoon.